Have y’all ever looked at the “what’s coming to town” pages for Fuquay-Varina and Holly Springs? If you say you haven’t, you sit on a throne of lies, because pages like these are what residents in small(ish) towns live for. For years we have watched Cary and Morrisville build fancy grocery stores, five-star restaurants, and outdoor ninja training courses (not even kidding) while we score yet another storage place where we can hide the bodies.
As we’re in a season of growth — so they say — I checked the pages for both Fuquay and Holly Springs to see what excitement is on the horizon. Wouldn’t you know, the Town of Holly Springs never misses — they will forever be the most extra town in Wake County, and their project page disclaimer proves it. Before you can even view proposed developments, the town makes you read a paragraph full of lawyer-y language like “depicted herein” and “makes no warranties, expressed or implied” before bravely clicking “I AGREE TO THIS DISCLAIMER.” Yes, this has the same energy as “click if you’re over 18,” but who am I to kill their vibe?
Fuquay’s page, on the other hand, knows that you’re checking for Trader Joe’s announcements — since you’ve been signing a Facebook petition for it since 2011. Do they care if there’s something listed that may or may not happen, thus starting rumors on community pages that will last for literal years? Nah, not really. Do with it what you will.
Herein … ahem … (adjusts monocle), I will succinctly summarize what is coming to Southern Wake — more or less.
ANOTHER CAR WASH.
I’m not even kidding. Fuquay’s brandspankin’-new Take 5 Car Wash has barely had time to unlock their doors, and already Tommy’s Express Carwash is nipping at their heels. Off the top of my head, I can count eight car washes in Fuquay alone — nevermind the ones that exist in Holly Springs. How many deers are we hitting, guys? Are you mudding every weekend? Do hoses in Southern Wake simply not exist? Good luck, Tommy — the demand is high, but the competition is fierce.
RESIDENTIAL DEVELOPMENTS ONE-LANE ROADS.
Both towns have an insane amount of residential development coming their way, but we all know what that means: one-lane roads manned by construction workers who do not care if you get to work on time. Lake Wheeler Road is now where cars go to die, and James Slaughter Road in Fuquay is about to follow suit. Is Holly Springs Road even passable at this point? Do two-lane roads even exist anymore?
ANOTHER SENIOR LIVING FACILITY.
It’s like the car wash epidemic, but for The Olds. New ones are popping up in both Fuquay and Holly Springs, but Fuquay definitely wins in the senior living department. I can think of eight off the top of my head, complete with stellar views of Food Lion, Judd Parkway, and vape shops. Just what grandma always wanted.
You couldn’t pronounce it when it was just a neighborhood, and you won’t be able to pronounce this one either.
A CIRCLE K.
Strange things are afoot at the corner of Sunset Lake Road and Hilltop Needmore. If you’ve lived in the area for a while, you know of the crumbling house across from the Citgo, circa 1802, but times are changing — that space is about to be a 5,200-square-foot Circle K with 37 parking spaces. That’s right, another place to siphon your retirement savings into your gas tank before your next road trip!
FANCY MIXED-USE DEVELOPMENTS.
If you thought that Holly Springs and Fuquay-Varina were immune to master-planned “live, work, play” communities, you were mistaken. We’ve all seen these stalker-friendly communities in Morrisville and Cary, but they are now trickling down into Southern Wake. So hold onto your mailboxes and get ready to meet your new neighbors, Esme and Jules. They’ve been watching you.
This one needed a question mark, because no one knows what the butt is happening with the golden promise of a Wegmans in Holly Springs — oscillating between a sure thing, and seconds later, a cruel joke put upon us by the Chads of Cary. BUT THERE IS HOPE. Plans for a Wegmans are still listed on the town’s website — potentially 99,000 square feet of yankee-approved grocery goodness, situated right next to Lowe’s. But don’t count on it — you had to sign a disclaimer for a reason.