Fall is officially here (until it’s not), so I thought it was time to celebrate the cooler weather and upcoming holidays with a roundup of some of my favorite fall-themed memes over the years. Don’t get me wrong, picking favorites was like choosing which of my family members to save from a house fire — so yeah, it was pretty easy. We’ve got everything from pumpkin piarrhea to the legendary #HalloweenGate and NC SWEATer weather, so hold onto your butts (and the $1 fake spider web fluff that you bought from the dollar store).
1. Give ’em Pumpkin to Talk About
I’m kicking this off with one of my latest fall-inspired memes, posted on Oct. 10, 2021. What in the Holly Swings heck is going on in this cursed image and why is that bird getting involved? Sometimes it’s better to not ask questions, but it’s giving “scoot down a little … just a little more” vibes (the ladies will get it).
2. Managing Expectations
I posted this bad boy on Oct. 11, 2017, back when I still ran and was into physical fitness and the ’rona didn’t have me stress snacking. Regardless of your fitness level, I think we can all agree that “fall” means nothing in NC until at least the beginning of November, so if you’re dreaming of some Vermont-style Hallmark run in your Lululemons — don’t. The chances that you’ll die are high, and no one wants to meet their maker covered in sweat.
3. Call Jim Cantore
Technically this isn’t my meme, it’s a tweet by Don Schwenneker that I reposted last year. Even so, it had to make the fall highlight list because this is the kind of quality content that everyone needs in their lives.
4. Halloween Hangover
If you’ve lived through the fall months in Southern Wake, then I’m sure you’ve seen the same question posted by new residents all over social media — ”when is Halloween celebrated?” Apparently, lesser towns across America will literally move trick-or-treating if it’s on a school night, but ’round here kids have to suck it up like we did. I don’t care if your kids are still hungover on Airheads, they still have to pack their lunch for school the next morning and get on the bus. Think of it as training for college.
5. Avoiding Drama
I posted this on Nov. 9, 2017, weeks before Thanksgiving — which just goes to show how much I was dreading a post-election year Turkey Day. I don’t know if you’ve ever had the chance to see the miniature horses near the corner of Bass Lake Road and James Slaughter Road in Fuquay-Varina, but if you haven’t (and you need a boost of serotonin), HEAD OVER THERE TODAY. Unlike your families, these guys are a) cute, b) unproblematic, and c) won’t judge how much you eat or ask about your love life.
6. Buffet Slayer
Does this photo even need an explanation? If you’re lucky enough to go somewhere where folks can cook, Thanksgiving Day is nothing but a gluttonous free-for-all. PSA: Don’t eat outside in Holly Springs unless you’re prepared for that signature dumpsgiving smell. If your realtor didn’t warn you, I’m coming in clutch.
7. Prepare for Slapsgiving
It’s not a presidential election year, but that doesn’t matter! Your crazy aunts and uncles are jonesing for a fight and just waiting for you to walk through that door with a green bean casserole. I recommend finding a happy place and noise canceling headphones. Godspeed.
8. The Devil Made Me Do It
Five years ago, the Town of Holly Springs posted a set of guidelines for Halloween, including age limits (under 13 only), location guidelines (stay in your neighborhood), and costume requirements (no masks for the older kids). There was more tomfoolery, but I won’t bore you with the details. As you can imagine, it didn’t go over well — but this meme sure did!
9. Thankful for Us
I honestly can’t remember who this local hero is, but I DO remember posting this gem on Nov. 24, 2017. While most people were using this cute Thanksgiving frame to highlight their friends and families, this guy showed me what he was TRULY thankful for — and spoke for us all.
10. The Gift of Accuracy
This was posted in November 2017, and for the most part, it still holds true today. Fuquay-Varina has always been known for its large number of mattress stores, and although the amount of locations has decreased over time, everyone in town still agrees that they’re a front for something more sinister. As for every other town, I’m sorry for generalizing and being 100% accurate. It’s a gift, and I’m thankful for it.
